Il Diario di Tinton

{2008-06-08}   Beauty of your Partner

Why is it that when I look at a woman that shows body parts, or rather dresses up more or less sexy, or somewhat showy, I get angry, or rather, I tend to react with anger? Why did I never like to have a woman who dresses like a model? It certainaly has to do with jealousy, but also with the fact that a woman dressing in a sexually attractive way seems to need some attention that she otherwise could not get. And the same is to hold true for a man. Does she/he really need that extra attention? Can’t they get it by just being what they are?

I believe this is why I am much more attracted to less attractive people (woman, in this case).

And how about when you are choosing the partner for life? How high up in the priority list is external beauty? For some, I hear, it is very high. For me, it was getting higher, and higher. And I started having some requirements “My woman should have a nice child bearing body, good hips, strong… ” ye-yeah. Not all smaller woman, or woman with small hips have a hard time giving birth! After all, it doesn’t have to do with hip size at all.

So, sure, curveaous woman turn me on more than straight woman. And sure, I do have a dream woman, the one I masturbate to most of the times. But how important is it to have her as my partner? I can look at her from a distance and think “Oh, how wonderful! I really want to make love with her”. But then, when we get to it, what do I see? I am too close to see all those beautiful curves. I am too close to see how all those great bodyparts work together. Even for the most intimate parts, when I am there, in the middle of it all, tasting and smelling, I cannot see a thing! I can only smell, feel, hear and taste. And most of these charachteristics are much more long lasting than external beauty!

Think about it: how much is really needed in order to change those beutiful curves into unattractive curves? A simple diet change, a disease and a surgery, aging, hair cut, climate change, you name it. They all can affect the body. So what are we left with? What is more permament than that? Let me try to focus on the touch, the way that person hugs me, the way her/his hand feels on mine, the way she/he tastes or smells… And, of course, the connection with the mind. (I was leaving it out, because I was focusing on the body for now)

If I am attracted to these features, the attraction will only die off, or change if my own tastes change. Yes, indeed, we do change our tastes, but most times not as radically and not as quickly as a body can change. And besides, much more consciously! I mean, if I one day, realize that the person that I am with is not attractive anyomore because of the way we hug or touch, or smell… then better for us! It means I have developed enough sensitivity to learn more about myself and about her, and to realize that we are no longer compatible (for simplicity, I am keeping the other connection, spiritual, mind, astrological and such out of the picture. In reality, one woudl evaluate and see if the exisiting other connections can fill in the gaps discovoerd in the body connections).

So that’s what I could be looking at, while considering the possible candidates for partners.


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